


Seven Days

by tovlerone



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 06:32:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13071117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tovlerone/pseuds/tovlerone
Summary: After they defeat The Hunger they take some time to mourn.This is a very Jewish fic in honor of Avi and for Mitch. Happy candlenights!Thanks to Calico for editing.





	Seven Days

In the moments after they defeat The Hunger, the world is silent. In this world they’ve only been fighting for a day, but now everyone has new memories that don’t belong to them, and in those they can’t remember what it’s like not to be fighting.

The silence doesn’t last long before celebration breaks through like a purple worm coming out of the ground. Their happiness is so wild, so big, and so real that it’s almost violent. Their celebration says, “You couldn’t take this from us, and our joy is the proof!”

The cheers and music from earth are lost in the vacuum of space, and the only thing that can be heard on the moon base is empty silence. The first thing everyone on the moon base does is sleep. They’ve been doing so much fighting, and so much remembering, and their bodies and souls are tired. But all they can do is sleep, so they rest their bodies, and put aside the weariness in their souls for later.

They go to the only room that wasn’t destroyed in the battle, the gymnasium used as a testing ground for new recruits. Just a few months ago Taako, Magnus, and Merle had their trial of initiation there. If you asked them now they would say it feels like it happened decades ago.

When they wake up Barry and Lup have returned and are speaking quietly in a corner. Barry looks a little bruised, but relatively unscathed. And Lup, well Lup would look radiant even if she were dead, which technically, she is. 

Davenport wakes noiselessly, and doesn’t move from the wall he fell asleep against. Taako and Magnus move closer to each other in the middle of the night, forming an unconscious cage around Angus, and the poor boy has to yell to wake them so he can escape. 

Lucretia wakes with a start at Angus’ shout, but a quick scan reveals that no calamity has broken out in the safe haven of the gymnasium, and she calms. They’re all safe now. She repeats this over and over in her head, she always used to have a mantra. Before it was, they’ll be safe now. But when those words stopped being true, she had to stop saying them. Thinking the words had brought her almost as much comfort as it had hurt. She looks around and sees everyone rustling about, slowly waking up, so she shakes Merle gently and he wakes with a snort.

The room is quiet for a while. They shuffle around, and there are some whispers. They had salvaged what little belongings remained from the ruins of the bureau the previous night. They managed to get some clothes, a few pillows and blankets, and enough food for about a week, maybe more if they were clever about it.

No one was really sure what to do next. None of them had homes to return to. Without an enemy to fight, or an apocalypse to combat, the Bureau had no purpose, no reason to be rebuilt. They didn’t have jobs or plans. There was nothing for them anywhere. But at least here they had each other. They didn’t know what they wanted to go, they just knew they weren’t ready to leave that yet.

Davenport was the one to break the silence, his voice was uncharacteristically quiet (or was it? none of them had really heard him in a long time), they had to strain to listen to him.

“In one of the worlds we went to, Olam, they had a tradition. After someone died they would sit and mourn for seven days. I think we should do that.”

***

First they were silent. Then they slept. Then they mourned.

They mourn Johann, and all the beings from all the planets they couldn’t save. They mourn the things they destroyed and the things that destroyed them. They mourn lost people, lost bodies, and lost time, so much lost time. They get to know each other again, and they get to know themselves again.

On the first day Magnus builds them all simple chairs, with short legs that sit low to the ground, out of bits of wood and robots he finds. Merle performs a new ritual he calls “The Rites of Remembrance” in honor of Johann. And they remember.

Taako remembers his childhood. He pieces together the old versions of his memories with the new ones. He remembers being bounced around from relative to relative. But he also remembers always being okay, because he was never alone. He remembers pain and blood, accidentally nicking his finger his first time making filet mignon. And he remembers Lup being right behind him with a bandage to wrap him up. He remembers his first heartbreak, feeling so wrecked and thinking that it’d always be like this, that his shattered love had changed the world irrevocably, that it couldn’t possibly go on with him hurting this badly. And he remembers Lup, slapping him upside the head and saying, “Shut up, he wasn’t even that hot.” He remembers feeling that if Lup could still make jokes then the world would be okay, and one day, so would he.

He remembers and he feels. He feels everything. Livid that Lup was taken from him, that his childhood was taken from him. Desperately sad that his sister had suffered. That the world had suffered from not having Lup in it. And so explosively happy to finally have her back. 

Next to him is Angus, who’s young frame fits perfectly in that tiny chair. And he’s a stoic look on a face with eyes that are too old for him, and a hole in his hat, and he’s listening to the stories his friends are telling. Taako thinks about Angus’ childhood- solving mysteries that don’t exist all by himself, seeing dead bodies, and being too smart, being treated like an adult, but also like a child, and never like a friend- and Taako decides that he’s not going to let Angus have his childhood taken from him. 

So when his friends start reminiscing about one of the planets they were on, one that he knows has a gruesome ending, he taps Angus on the shoulder.

“Hey kid, why don’t we take a walk and I’ll show you how to fix your hat?”

Angus blinks, like he’s forgotten where he is for a moment, then a small smile appears on his face. 

“Thank you sir, I’d like that a lot.”

***

On the second day Angus approaches Magnus wearing a brand new hat, new pair of shoes, and new glasses that reek of Taako’s handiwork. 

“Sir,” he begins, a little, “I know all the memories from the 100 years and the different worlds you went to, from the Void Fish.”

Magnus has a slight furrow between his eyes and his mouth is set in a small frown.

“B-but, there were some things I didn’t understand.”

Magnus sets his face to something more neutral, “Like what, Ango?”

Seeing Magnus look less upset puts Angus more at ease and he blurts out, “Why was the Power Bear so mean to you?”

This startles a rough chuckle out of him, “He wasn’t mean to me...” Magnus thinks carefully about what he wants to say next.

“You know how we tease you sometimes, even though we love you?” Angus looks skeptical. “The Power Bear was only mean to me because he cared about me. He wanted me to learn.”

“But you guys haven’t taught me anything,” Angus replies in confusion.

“Okay, bad example.” Magnus thinks again for a moment, scratching his head.

“You see, Ango, my whole life I’ve been the kind of guy who rushes in. I don’t really think things through, I just- act. I didn’t learn that I had limits, that I couldn’t do everything on my own. The Power Bear taught me that in a way that he knew I would understand.”

Magnus looks at Angus, willing him to understand.

“Sir,” Angus isn’t looking at Magnus, but his voice is clear. “I’ve always admired your ability to act. I always think things through, but sometimes, by the time I’m done thinking, it’s too late.”

“Sometimes, thinking is the right thing to do.” Magnus kneels down so he’s eye level with Angus. “Maybe in a perfect world everyone would think at the right times and act at the right times. But our world is full of people like me and people like you. People who act too much and people who think too much. But the world needs both, and they need each other.

“The most important thing the Power Bear taught me wasn’t that we should think before we act, it was that people need each other. People like me, need people like you. Do you understand Ango?”

Angus processes this for a while. Then looks up at Magnus, who even kneeling is taller than the young boy, and quietly says, “Thank you.”

Magnus is puzzled, “For what?”

“For needing me.”

***  
On the third day Magnus carries his chair outside to look up at the stars and think in the quiet. He’s barely sat down when the quiet is broken by Merle clumsily dragging his own chair behind him. 

“Why’d you have to make these so big, Magnus?” Merle huffs, out of breath as he sets his chair next to Magnus and sits down.

“They’re not big Merle, you’re just small.”

“Hey!” Exclaims Merle, offended.

“Did you want something?” Magnus asks.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah! I wanted to talk to you. Ever since yesterday you look like you’ve been thinking really hard about something, and we both know how unusual that is for you.” Merle says with a laugh.

Magnus starts, “It was something Angus said yesterday-“ 

“Oh, don’t listen to that little twerp.”

Magnus ignores him and continues, “About the Void Fish and our memories. I mean, we’ve all been without our memories for so long, and now everyone has them. Isn’t that a little weird to you, Merle?”

This gives Merle pause, as if he hadn’t really thought about it before.

“Yeah, it’s a little weird. But you don’t have to worry, everyone’s gonna know you’re a big hero.”

Magnus huffs out a breath, frustrated that he can’t explain what he’s feeling, “I didn’t do any of it to be a hero. I was just doing what was right.”

“That’s what being a hero is,” says Merle sagely, “Doing the right thing even when it’s hard.”

Magnus is unable to contain himself, “But it wasn’t hard, Merle! Rushing in? Fighting? Putting myself at risk for others? That doesn’t scare me, it’s what I do. That’s easy. It’s not heroic.”

Magnus is looking straight ahead, his breaths are shallow and his eyebrows are deeply furrowed. Merle looks at him, but Magnus refuses to meet his gaze.

“Was it easy to love people after you lost Julia?” Merle asks softly, shocking Magnus into looking at him.

“Well, no. But-“

“Was it easy to let go of avenging your wife?”

“Merle, that’s not-“

“Was it easy to trust when you found out you were a Red Robe?”

Merle gives Magnus a look that silences him before he can protest again. 

“You’re not a hero because you’d die for anyone, you’re a hero because you love people enough to live for them.”

***

Merle sits alone under the stars, appreciating the view, long after Magnus has gone back inside. And it’s not because the chairs are really hard to move and Magnus left his out, and Merle couldn’t possibly carry both. It’s not. 

When the clock strikes midnight and the third day becomes the fourth Davenport comes outside and sits next to Merle. He hasn’t talked since he suggested the seven days of mourning, and Merle doesn’t expect him to start now.

But on the fourth day at 12:05 am Davenport starts talking, and he doesn’t stop. He talks to Merle straight through the night. After talking until dawn, they go back inside the gymnasium. Davenport goes to talk to someone else and Merle goes to sleep. When he wakes up, Davenport is still talking. He talks like he’s trying to get out all the words he missed while his mind was stolen. He starts by telling them all of the stories of the worlds they visited. They already know the stories, of course, they were there when they happened, but they don’t dare interrupt him. If anyone has earned their words, it’s Davenport. 

The whole room is tense when he approaches Lucretia. But he just smiles, wraps her in his arms and starts speaking quietly in her ear. And then they’re both crying, and he’s still talking. And then they’re all crying, and he’s talking to all of them. 

He doesn’t talk about his time after losing his memories. Maybe because he’s not ready to say it, maybe because they’re not ready to hear it. 

Either way, for one day, as they listen to their captain speak again, things are good, and they all taste the happiness of being together, of being whole.

***

On the fifth day Davenport starts listening. 

And everything is fine- until it isn’t.

They’ve been spending too much time with each other and not saying enough. Emotions are heightened in the concentrated ecosystem they’ve created, and it just happens to be Lup that breaks first. 

Lucretia says something, maybe it was controversial, but probably not. Lucretia hasn’t been speaking a lot, and when she does, she doesn’t say much. It sets Lup off because she said it. 

Lup storms out of the room without warning, leaving a stricken Lucretia on the floor. Barry looks back at Lucretia, sighs and starts to go after Lup. But before he can make it out of the door, a gentle hand has wrapped around his forearm.

“Let me talk to her,” Davenport intones from behind him. Barry nods in agreement and steps aside to let the small man through, but he stays in the doorway, just in case. Lup is sitting on the ruins of a wall, and Davenport sits next to her. He puts a hand on her shoulder and she leans into it as much as her lich form allows.

“I just don’t get it. How can she just sit there and act like nothing happened, like she did nothing wrong?” She says after a minute.

“She’s just following your lead, if you act like you’re okay, then she will too.”

“But I’m NOT okay!” She bursts, her form wavering dangerously. If it weren’t for a subtle gesture that Davenport makes behind his back, ‘Wait,’ Barry would already be at her side. “I may have gotten my life back, but I lost so much! I don’t even have a fucking body anymore, and my body was great!”

“Bangin,’” Davenport says, nodding sympathetically.

Lup nods back and continues, “And there is Lucretia- the woman I know is responsible. And she is just sitting there like it doesn’t affect her!”

“What do you want her to do?”

Lup jerks away from him, “What do I- You don’t know what it’s like! To be-“

“Trapped? Kept away from the people you love? Lup, I understand that better than anybody.”

Lup deflates, “You're right, I’m sorry Davenport.” She runs a tired hand down her face. “How are you not angry?” She asks softly.

“I just got the ability to be anything back, why would I waste my time being angry?”

Lup considers this, “Maybe you’re just a stronger person than me.”

Davenport laughs, “I think we both know that’s not true.”

Lup smiles soft, but proud. 

“You’re even stronger than you know.” Says Davenport.

Barry smiles. He knows.

***

On the sixth day, Barry starts a conversation with Lucretia. She’s been talking to no one until now, and Barry can tell it’s taken a toll on her. They’re all struggling to cope, but she’s been struggling the longest, and he thinks maybe she needs a friend right now.

When he approaches she’s writing, some things never change. She snaps the book closed and sits ramrod straight as he takes a seat next to her.

“Lucretia, you can calm down, I’m not here to yell at you. I just want to hang out.”

This throws off her composure, “What? Why?”

“I think we’ve both been lonely for a very long time, and I don’t think either of us want to feel like that anymore.”

She relaxes her posture, and sits in quiet contemplation.

“It’s hard to miss someone who is right in front of you.” She says, restrained but confident.

Barry nods, he doesn’t have anything to add. He doesn’t need to, Lucretia’s good at expressing the whole of things. They sit in a companionable silence for a little bit. 

“What are you writing?” He asks, after a while.

Lucretia turns her face away and Barry is surprised, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen her shy. Sad? Angry? Lost? Yes. But never shy.

”It’s... a fiction piece I’ve been working on.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I figured I wouldn’t be playing with real people's lives anymore.” She says ruefully.

“I can’t wait to read it.”

***

On the seventh day everyone is getting ready to go home. Davenport is going to travel, because he can’t feel trapped anymore. Angus is going to school. Lup and Barry were hired by Taako’s boyfriend, Kravitz, to work for the Raven Queen. Merle wants to be a better father and Magnus loves his friends. Talking to Barry was the catalyst Lucretia needed to talk to the rest of her crew. Now she was at least on at least speaking terms with all of them. 

Except Taako. She hadn’t spoken to him yet. The last time they talked he’d threatened to kill her, and while she doesn’t think he’ll do it again, she doesn’t know if he’ll ever forgive her. Doesn’t know if she wants to find up.

But it’s the last day, and they’ll all be going their separate ways soon, so it’s now or never. She waits until the last minute, so if things go bad he doesn’t have to spend anymore time with her. 

When everyone else has left the gym, it’s just her and Taako. Everyone else has gone outside to say their goodbyes.

She cuts to it, Taako doesn’t appreciate small talk. 

“Are we ever going to be okay?”

Taako pauses, but he’s not surprised, he’s been expecting her to say something to him. 

“You took way my only family,” he starts, and Lucretia’s face falls, “But, you also took me into the Bureau of Balance and made sure I had a new family.” 

They both smile a little at this. 

Taako sobers, “I may never be able to forgive you, but you’re family. And that means something to me.”

Lucretia gives Taako a curt nod, and he knows it means thank you.

He starts to walk across the gym towards the door and he thinks about what Lucretia asked, Are we ever going to be okay, and he wonders if she meant something else too.

The seven of them had been through the unimaginable. They loved, they lost. They forgot, they remembered. They fought, often with mixed results. They died, like a bunch. 

Were they okay?

Fuck no. They still had a lot of healing to do, memories to put back together.

But he looks out the open gym door at his friends. Angus is smiling from on top of Magnus’ shoulders. Merle is trying to get an exasperated Davenport to do the same. Barry is making a dumb face and Lup has doubled over in laughter and he thinks it’s a lot like his first heartbreak. 

When the Hunger came down on their world it felt like the end. The destruction it wrought made it feel like the world couldn’t possibly recover, it was too broken and they were too broken.

But here are his friends, his family, together and happy and smiling, and if they can still do that then the world is going to be okay, and one day, all of them will be too. 

He begins to walk out the door to join his friend when Lucretia stops him with a question. 

“Is there any way I can make it better?”

He looks back at her over his shoulder. He knows what she’s wants to hear, but he answers the other question she’s asking instead.

“Just do good.”

That night, the Bureau of Benevolence is born.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m tovlerone on tumblr, come validate me


End file.
